Sunday, February 19, 2017

DESPERATELY NOT HAPPY

Many people know how bad it is to be depress, feeling low, no motivation to do things or just feeling sad. As to put it in a context, it is spiritually and emotionally crushing. Or, in 1 word: PAINFUL. Luckily, most of the time, those feelings come in a fleeting moment, never there to stay and go away with time. Sometime, without doing anything to make it better as if it has been eaten out by your own psychological defense mechanism. In fact, every single one of us has our own defense whether it is a mature one or not.

Mind you, it is totally normal to feel. Despite how dismissive we are towards negative emotion, acknowledging it is actually a healthy option for us to heal properly.

By the way, what positive do we get from forcing ourselves to 'swallow' or ignore our own negative feelings when unconsciously, it will be very damaging to our health.It is human to feel negative emotion and by naming it, consciously, we will start to more on consciously or unconsciously.

Many people say that they ignore negative emotion. As if, they want to prove to others that they are strong. Unfortunately, the more we try to ignore or to forget, the more damaging it can be. Actually, there is nothing to prove when the only important thing when you feel down is to survive it with your self still 'intact'. Unattended negative emotion can leave scars in our souls. It does not heal properly and maybe, it will start to break your inner reserve and end up with worsening of emotional wound/scar that will desperately difficult to handle.

FEELING UNHAPPY
It is easier for us to identify the opposite polar of emotion, either positive or negative but many will fail to acknowledge another nasty emotion that lingers in your life like a slow growing tumor. It is inability to feel joy/pleasure.

We called it ANHEDONIA

It is a desperate feeling. Painful.

It is when you wake up in the morning, going thru your chores as usual. Doing things that you usual like. Connecting with people around you that used to make you happy but unfortunately the zest of happiness or joy is just not there.

Emotionally, you feel painfully numb. You are confuse with your own self. You know that you are not sad but you can not understand why you can't be happy. As if, that part of your life (of feeling happy) just goes out somewhere and you can't sense it anymore. You feel sad because you are not able to have the same pleasure that you used to feel.

You feel trapped because you know that despite all the smiles, laughters and other things that you still able to show does not bring joy to you. It feels so fake and plastic. Suddenly you feel that your own self ignoring your own feeling. Disconnected between emotion and action and yet you are not apathetic.

Suddenly, everything that you do become a burden for you emotionally. You know that you must keep moving without breaking down but yet, deep inside, you feel that breaking down might be a better option. At least people may realise now that you are sad rather than 'happy' but not happy. By the way, you know that you are not faking the happy (normal) you that all the people can see.

Now, can you feel the desperation of not feeling happy? In reality, you might be having depression.

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